How He Came To Be
by aristicats11
Summary: AU. After losing his memory, Lann begins experiencing strange emotions that are not his own. Feelings of justice and hatred towards...humans? And why is the Oracle giving him such strange looks?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vindictus or any of the characters.**

Authors Note: So I think I will make a story out of this, tell me what you think and what you might want to see later on. Please enjoy.

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><p>When I was seven or eight, living in the small two bedroom cottage in the plains, my father was the only source of knowledge I had of the outside world. Every weekend, after I would help mom with the baking, practice my letters, and do my chores, I would finally watch my sister. Only a few months old, I would hold her in my small arms and gently carry her outside to the porch.<p>

There, we would both wait in silence, give or take a few gurgles from her, for my father to return.

And on those days, each night after supper when my father was sitting in his chair and smoking a pipe, I would hesitantly go up to him, looking down at my battered socks, and ask him for a tale.

Normally, his eyes would softened from their hard glare and he would pat his knee invitingly. My mother would walk in with the little one, and would gently rock her to sleep to the sound of my fathers voice as he told the story of a brave warrior venturing the hillsides; as I sat on his knee and listened with rapt attention. That night it changed. It was when everything changed for me.

That night when I looked up from beneath my blond lashes, I saw him looking over me with scrutiny, and I suddenly felt very venerable and weak. We both stayed there in silence, and eventually he seemed to come to a decision. "I think yer old enough now son, that I can tell yah what's really happenin' out there." He seemed to straighten in his chair as if preparing himself, and put one leg over the other.

Getting the subtle message, I sat crisscrossed on the wooden floor as he spoke. He spoke of the sudden Fomors emergence years back, and wide spread panic across the country. He told me of the black barren land that lies just beyond our sweet retreat of temporary paradise, and the weakened, sickly people that live huddled together in small towns, shelters really, with high walls. There was no hero in his tales, and there seemed to be no hope as well. I wondered what the point was of living, and almost asked how people could go on, when he spoke of it.

Erinn. Our paradise.

Morrighan, the goddess of war and vengeance, would take us to the paradise. So long as we not give in, so long as we keep fighting and believing. And when we eliminate the Fomorians, we will be taken to Erinn.

Erinn. It sounded wonderful to my young ears. With two moons, Eweca and Ladeca, each shining with the brightness of the Gods, and the idea that there was no death or sickness, and dreams of lands that were rich with resources and food. I could imagine my family living there in peace, where my father would take strolls without worry, and my mother not glancing out the window in worry every time he leaves. Where my sister could grow up without the burden of never having enough food, and I could protect her and teach her all the things I know.

I then understood, how even in these darkest times, people fought, and people strived. Just the thought of this beautiful land, whether you were young or old, was enough to keep living each dreadful day into the next.

The Legend stayed in the forefront of my mind for months afterward.

One day, I was in the middle of my ninth year, taking a stroll through the meadows with my sister. She was learning to walk, and I feared for her falling on the hard floors of the house, and took her out on the grass to practice. It had been a hard time, for even if it was softer, the ground was uneven, and my sister too new. My frustrations had gotten the best of me, and I picked her up, no point in continuing if I was angry, and started the walk home. It was when we were nearly home I saw it.

Its back was to me, but I could see it was big, as big as my father, and it stood on two legs. Dirty matted brown fur covered its hunched over body, and it wore nothing but a loin cloth. It looked reminiscent of the wolves father brought home, except twice as fearful. As it stood on our porch, front door destroyed, and blood dripped from the spiked mace. It sniffed the air, then whirled around, and locked eyes with me. I stood stock still, and fearfully let my eyes frantically look around for my father. When I saw the bloody hand peaking out from the doorway, I let out a choked sob and clutched my sister tighter to my chest. My gaze returned to the monster.

We stayed looking at each other, one of us judging the other, whether for how fast or how tasty each other were, for what seemed like minutes, but was only seconds.

Then it lunged.

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><p>When Lann showed up in the nearest village dragging a mace half his size, blood spattered on his clothes, and manic look in his eyes, people stayed away. They no longer saw a victim, not even a young boy who had lost it all, but a wild thing that reminded them too much of the horrors they faced every night. And so when he collapsed on the cobblestone road, no one spared more than a glance at the unconscious boy.<p>

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><p>When he woke up in the same position, he didn't linger in the town, or in the next. He kept walking along the dirt roads, and by the time he reached the third, he was dead on his feet. Between killing the Fomors and carrying the heavy mace with him, along with no water and only the uncooked flesh to eat, he was ready to give it up. Yet he couldn't stop, he felt a driving force pushing him forward, and he would listen to it. He knew he wasn't meant to settle down, he felt as if he had a task to do.<p>

He walked along the uneven road of the town he currently was in, glancing about in a detached way. When he saw a brightly colored piece of parchment nailed to the city board. Curiosity piked, he stumbled towards it. He saw he was looking up at a recruitment poster for the Crimson Blades, and he felt that same force in him spurge with excitement. He caught the boat the next day, and after watching the town fade into the distance, he felt the driving force leave him. It was then he finally realized how tired he was. He glanced around, the boat was tiny, and everyone on it was older than him except for a girl with short blond hair. He caught her eye, and she nodded to him solemnly.

He grinned, and leaning back against a box, closed his eyes for the ride.

He was where he was supposed to be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Vindictus or any of the characters.**

A/N: Once again, let me know how you like it. Enjoy. If you see any spelling mistakes, please tell me.

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><p>When Lann awoke neither the starry sky nor the sun greeted him, instead he was looking up at a wooden ceiling. Blinking away the sleep haze, he looked around, finding he was in some sort of large room with multiple beds lined up against each wall in rows. Judging by the subtle light streaming in from the windows above, it was around noon.<p>

He made a move to get up, but gasped in pain when sharp aches shot up his back and sides. It was then he noticed the wrappings around his torso and arms. _What the..._ He was about to lift up the sheet to further inspect, when he heard incoming footsteps. Glancing up, he saw a brown haired man with gray roots walking towards him. He was wearing a pair of faded brown overalls with a white shirt underneath. Lann glanced back up at his face, and noticed the laugh lines surround the gentle smile, he relaxed. This man looked friendlier than those other people.

Wait, what other people?

Lann frowned in thought and tried to recall. He remembered blurred people, frightened looks and glaring eyes on him as he walked through a town. But how did he get there? It felt... like a dream. He tried to remember anything else, but came up blank. Lann could feel his face paling. He tried again and again to recall anything, a last name, a home, anything. All he remembered is his name, that he has to join the Crimson Blade, and that one spooky dream.

"Ah you're up lad, you gave us quite a scare there," the man stated, pulling over a chair and sitting down. "My name is Ernmass, may I ask who you are?"

Figuring he could worry about that later, Lann eyed the man critically, could he trust him? But then, if he couldn't trust this man, who could he trust? He knew no one else, he didn't even know what town he was in, if it even was a town. He made a decision. "My name's Lann, and I'm going to join the Crimson Blades," Lann stated proudly. Realizing that sounded a bit bratty, he quickly added on "Sir."

The man, now known as Ernmass, chuckled. "Good to see youngsters wanting to help nowadays." He leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees. "Now, can I ask you a few questions about where you came from? Do you have any family looking for you?"

Lann hesitated, then remembered he chose to trust this man."No...I don't remember anything besides my name and needing to join the Crimson Blades here. My family..." Lann froze. He remembered a high pitched scream, snarls, and a feeling of pure hatred. "My family...no. I don't have anybody." He ducked his head, feeling sick in his stomach. He had no family. No memories, no nothing.

He was truly alone.

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><p>Whatever he had been prepared to hear the boy say, Ernmass didn't expect that. He awaited a long tale of running away from home, hating parents, even a bratty 'None of your business', but this...<p>

The boy sounded so heartbroken, so lost, so truly alone that Ernmass believed him. He took in the sun-washed hair, clear blue eyes, and the tanned skin under the cuts and bruises; he immediately knew the boy was from the country side. _That's a long way from here. There's no chance we can find out where he came from or who his family is. Maybe eventually when he remembered, but as it was..._

Ernmass debated what to do with the boy. They had no orphanage in town, barely enough room for the Crimson Blades as it was, and no one had the time really, to watch a child. As much as he wanted to, he knew he didn't have the time or money to care for the lad himself. He was old, and the Oracle Tieve was supposed to leave the Temple and start staying with him soon too. No, he himself couldn't. He recalled the boys claim of joining the Crimson Blades. He chuckled quietly to himself, only a child could say it that proudly yet with innocence.

He supposed he could send the child to the Royal Army for now...at least until he became of age where he could join the Crimson Blades. Do him good to get an education anyhow, know the basics. And Dolores would adore him. He sighed, he had no choice.

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><p>Lann heard Ernmass finally shift beside him, and lifted his head, giving the man a hesitant smile. Ernmass returned it. "Lann, I'm going to let you live in Rocheste so you can join the Royal Army." Lann stared at the man, feeling shocked and betrayed. He had trusted this man, and now he was going to send him off not even 10 minutes after meeting him. Didn't he realize he had nobody? Lann frowned and turned his torso away petulantly. <em>Now he wasn't even going to have Ernmass anymore...<em>

Misjudging his look as not wanting to join the Army, Ernmass quickly continued," Just as a...cadet of sorts, so you can know the basics of fighting and missions before you join the Blades. I can't teach you those sorts of things after all." Lann quietly listened to this and debated. It didn't _seem_ as if Ernmass was getting rid of him, but was trying to help him. Surely Rocheste couldn't be too far away from his new friend, could it? Besides, it wouldn't do to be an amature in fighting when he joined, he needed to be big and strong. This will give him the time he needed to do that. He nodded.

Turning back around, frown replaced by a smile, he exclaimed, "Okay Ernmass! Let's go right now so I can start my training!" Lann made move to get out of bed, but Ernmass quickly put a hand on his shoulder.

"No no, you're still healing right now. We'll have to wait a bit longer." Lanns' shoulders slumped at this. He had forgotten about his darn wounds, he didn't even know where he had gotten them from.

"Is there anyway we can speed it up, Ernmass sir?" Lann looked pleadingly up at him.

Ernmass got a thoughtful look on his face. "Well...I suppose there's always Brynn, though I'm not sure-" Ernmass trailed off at the hopeful look on his face. "Well, I guess I can bring you to his lab later, when the business dies down."

Lann let out soft laugh. Awesome! The smile stayed on his face as he thanked him. He then yawned.

Ernmass smiled tightly. "Well I'll let you rest some more before we head out later. Goddess watch over you." Lann watched Ernmass leave, oblivious to the older mans sudden change in demeanor, then laid back down. He wasn't that tired...but he supposed he could just lay down for a bit. He wouldn't fall asleep though...

He laid there thinking about how this sounded just like an adventure he heard somewhere before, but his mind eventually slowed down, and a dreamless sleep welcomed him.

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><p>Ernmass sighed as he walked out of the Infirmary part of the Inn. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to Brynn about helping the boy. The man, no, teen, he corrected himself, could be so stubborn. He walked outside and sat on the bench by the lamp-post. He was too old for this. Looking down the street where he knew the Lab was, he decided it best that Lann didn't meet the man. He would take the boy over while he was asleep, Brynn would heal him quickly, and then he would send him to Rocheste.<p>

It was cruel yes, but he didn't want the boy getting too attached. And heartfelt goodbyes weren't his specialty. Maybe once he was older, he would go to visit. But right now the boy needed friends his own age, not a scruffy old man like himself. Stretching his back a little, he stood up and began to make arrangements. His mind convincing himself he was doing the right thing.

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><p>When he woke next, Lann was wrapped in a thin blanket in what seemed to be the back of a carriage. He could hear the thuds of the horses feet as it trotted along. He quickly got wrapped and sat up, seeing the town he was once in slowly moving away. He grumbled and furiously kicked the wall across from him, how dare Ernmass! He sent him off like a, like a, his little brain tried to think of a good comparison, a package! No goodbye, not even a warning, just flung him on a carriage and sent him away. Lann couldn't believe he would do something like that, though, he conceded, he didn't really know him for that long anyway.<p>

He sat there and continued this thought process until they reached what must of been Rocheste. Yet not even the sight of the castle-like town would bring him out of his sour mood. When they slowed to a stop outside the big entrance, he immediately jumped off and nodded his head to the driver. "Thank you." The man nodded back, and turned his carriage around to head back.

Lann looked around, and in a bout of childish curiosity, decided to explore the outside a bit first. He walked alongside the tall walls, smelled the brightly colored flowers, and even saw some sheep in the distance. Soon though, the sun was beating down on his tanned skin, and he decided to go inside. He didn't even know where he was staying after all. He once again approached the castle-town, this time smiling up at the beautiful site. Inside the concave of the entrance though, he saw something shift in the shadows. He froze, and keeping his eyes on whatever it was, and slowly began backing away, getting ready to go run after the carriage. _He shouldn't of spent so long inside! He knew it was dangerous... _He was startled from his thoughts when he heard a giggle, and out stepped a girl a who looked a to be about five to six years older than him.

"Hi! Sorry to scare you, I'm training to be a scout so, figured I'd practice." Here she gave a wide smile, showing off two rows white teeth. He looked at her strangely, and what was this supposed to do with anything?

She noticed this and looked flustered. "Oh! Sorry, I'm Dolores, a student here at the Royal Army! I'm the person who's supposed to meet you here, though I admit it took you a while longer than I thought..." Lann blushed, and was thankful the shadows kept it hidden. "Ah well, anyway, it will be so much fun to have you here, I'm sure you'll like it. We get to learn so much, and you'll be just like a brother to me! Well, I already _have_ a brother, but he's older than me. Still a but clumsy though, but I still love him of course! And you will be the little brother I always wanted..." She paused in her rambling and was staring off into...nothing.

Lann glanced in the direction she was staring, yeah_, nothing,_ then back at her. Was this girl really a cadet? "Uh-" Lann started, when it seemed she wouldn't snap out of it.

"Ah! My bad, here I am talking and talking. I'm sure you're hungry and tired, let's go inside little guy. I'll show you the dormitory! And then we can see about starting your classes and-" she continued to rattle of things they could and would be doing, but Lann found he didn't mind. Although the 'little guy' comment did make him pout a little. He wasn't that little...other than that though, her constant talking was sort of amusing. And he found out as long as he made the appropriate hums of interest every now and then with the occasional nod, he didn't have to put any input in.

He felt his what was left of his bad mood fade away, no one could be mad with Dolores's constant good attitude. He tuned back in to her rambling and asked a few questions, Dolores seemed delighted that he chose to actually ask _her of all people_. He grinned, Ernmass forgotten, as she answered his simple question with a books worth of information.

He thinks...he'll enjoy it here.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I will be needing a few OC's (Original Characters), for this story. So if you have any ideas, character profiles (No Mary/Gary sues), send them to me or put them in a review.

Once again, if you see any mistakes please tell me. Thank you and enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vindictus or any of its characters. **

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><p>It was stifling.<p>

The air had a constant stale smell to it. There was no wind, not even a slight breeze to ease it a bit, high stone walls prevented that. Compared to the rolling fields just outside, this enclosed town's stagnate air tasted old and dusty to him. Within a few moments of being inside, he had already started coughing and gasping. Dolores had only smiled pitying, and then moved on when he was done. Lann had known what the look was meant to say. Y_ou'll get used to it._

He wasn't sure he wanted to. Or if that was healthy.

He compared it an old coat closet that sits unopened all summer long. The heat baking the air and wood slowly. Until, finally, you open it when the first snow drops. Only to find musty, thick air greet your nose. You would gag and quickly shut the door, leaning against it and catching your breath. But he couldn't even do that, it was like someone pushed him inside that closet, and shut the door. It surrounded him, and there was no way out.

It was truly disgusting.

They walked along the pathways, twisting deeper into the town. He stayed behind Dolores, watching her dull blond ponytail swing behind her. Suddenly he smacked into her back. He looked to see what made her stop, to find her looking at him with a strange look on her face. Then it changed, and she looked disgruntled.

"Lann."

His head tilted to the side a bit. "Yes Dolores?"

"Stop moping."

"..." He frowned. He was _not_ moping. It wasn't his fault his eyes hurt from the dust, or his lungs cried out from this dirty gross air.

The town had quickly stopped being a castle to him and was beginning to look like a prison. The high walls no longer gave protection, but took away freedom. And clean air. The grey of the cobblestone houses now drove him made. It was like a maze. And he was one of those mice he heard they used them on. It was a new study, but that didn't make it any less cruel. And he felt like one of those mice now. He didn't like it here, but he had to stay, because someone else chose it for him. And he once more cursed Ernmass for bringing him.

He stopped himself there, where had all that hatred come from? It was unlike him, and it frightened him, yet he couldn't will it away. It stayed in his chest like a cough wanting to come out. The same feeling he felt when he saw the Crimson Blades poster-

Then suddenly it left him, and he let out a silent gasp.

He now felt a bit empty. The phrase 'you don't know a good thing 'till its gone' went through his head, and for a moment he missed feeling. The moment passed, and his eyes once again focused in front of him. Strange, he didn't remember being that disoriented. Looking at Dolores, he could tell she was waiting for a reply. He was suddenly grateful none of his internal struggle showed on his face.

He didn't tell her any of what happened.

" 'M not moping." He instead said, not realizing his voice betrayed the words.

He saw Dolores sigh, and then she knelt down, balancing herself on the pads of her feet as she looked him over. "Lann, this place isn't as bad as you think it is. These people stay here for a reason. That reason is each other." She swept her arm out to the side, as if presenting a magnificent piece of art. "Look, see how happy every body is despite how they live? They need this place, the company of each other."

Her speech didn't impress him.

When she saw he was still looking at her, she sternly said, "Actually _look_ Lann."

So Lann turned, gazing with puffy red eyes at the people around them. People strolled about doing their business. Nothing new. Some neighbors were happily whispering to each other as they stood at food carts, filling each other in on the towns latest gossip. He blinked, and turned to look at group of young girls huddled together. They were showing off their latest jewelry and trinkets that 'the handsome young man down the street just sent her'. Looking a bit past them, he saw some boys, probably a bit older Dolores' age, showing off their various weapons and armor.

Lann still didn't understand, to him it seemed as if they had disillusioned themselves into thinking everything was fine, but in reality their world was crumbling. They could laugh and ignore it all they want, but it wouldn't save Vindictus. Did they not know of the land beyond their little towns and meadows?

It was black. It was black and barren and there were formors and dear Goddess no one could _survive_ out there.

And no one cared. No one probably even knew about it.

Lann thought these people selfish, and he didn't understand what he was supposed to _see_ in their selfish ways, and he could feel the feeling in his chest like before and he knew something wasn't _right_ here. But he straightened his posture anyway and gave Dolores a smile. Neither denying nor agreeing to her claims. She returned it, assuming he did. She stood up, brushed off her jumper skirt and they continued on their walk.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:** I do not own Vindictus or any of its characters.**

**A/N: Let me know of this flows nicely, authors can be a bit biased of their own work.**

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><p>Dolores pushed opened the wooden door, and they walked into the dimly lit room. It was simple, square, with a small side room off to the side. The side room looked to have another door and a small bookcase in it. In contrast, the main room was cluttered. Bunk beds were jammed in spaces that weren't taken up by the numerous practice weapons and barrels piled around. There were no windows - <em>of course, Lann thought glumly- <em>, a round rusted chandelier hung from the ceiling, candles lit, along with a large fireplace against the wall opposite the door. The room looked to be empty of anybody.

The two of them walked further inside. Each step he took a fine layer of dirt wafted up into the air, and he his lips once again quirked downward in disgust. _Filthy humans..._ He shook his head slightly, while he somewhat agreed with the voice invading his thoughts, now wasn't the time. He again looked around the room, and noticed the atmosphere.

There was an odd silence. Silence that makes you feel uncomfortable, the lack of sound and motion. It was a big change from the bustling town outside, and it made Lann shudder. Where was everyone? Weren't there supposed to be cadets? He took a look at Dolores from a glance, to see if she felt it too.

She was happily smiling to herself as she busied smoothing out already perfectly immaculate bed quilts.

He sighed. "Dolores, which bed is mine-"

"COME BACK HERE YOU RODENT!"

High pitch squeaks were heard, then a pounding of footsteps above them - _H__uh, guess there was a second story to this place, he thought - _and a young girl ran in from the side room, a broom brandished as a make shift weapon, skirt flowing behind her. She seemed to ignore the two of them, and there were more squeaks and stomping as she ran around the room swiping at a mouse he couldn't see.

Dolores shook her head in exasperation. "Blawynn."

"Almost got you-" _Bump._ "Damn!"

"Blawynn!" she said sharply, pale blue eyes narrowed.

The girl, now known as Blawynn, stopped. She turned toward us and blinked, seemingly just noticing we were there. He could now see her features, they were a sharp contrast to the other girl. While Dolores was soft edges and bright toned, this girl had a dark beauty. Short hair was whipped up on the ends and dark toned skin, previously flushed, was cool. Paired along with her hands now gently held in front of her, and the solemn expression on her face, he would of never guessed her anything like the girl they saw just minutes earlier.

"Oh hello there, Dolores." She took a pair of glasses from her pocket and delicately placed them on her nose. She then looked at him, where he stood by a bunk bed, wide eyed.

"And who might you be?"

It might of been the rough day he had, that he was just extremely exhausted. Some days he claims he was low on water intake. Others, when he feels mischievous, he teases it was Blawynn's angry eyes making his soul go into shock. It doesn't matter really. As he met the expecting gaze of this girl, _no_, he corrected himself, young woman in front of him, looking down the bridge of her nose, he whimpered. Then he was just a boy of nine, and no one could blame him for his actions. Or what happened next. In face of the simple question directed at him-

-he fainted.

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><p><em>3 Years Later<em>

_Pfft. "No one could blame him for his actions". If that was ever a load of manure._ If anything, they take the time to remind him of that embarrassing event every time they want something from him. They knew he had a reputation to hold up, and had no qualms about using that useful tibit of information. It was wound around his neck like a noose.

He continued going through his sword training, a worn wooden practice stick firmly gripped in his hand. It flowed through the air with grace, slashing invisible enemies and looking, to the average observer, lighter than air. He had been practicing for two years already, starting at age 10. He had gone through the pain staking "beginner" level within weeks, and had slowly moved up faster than thought possible. His fellow cadets had mixed emotions about that, some gaped in awe, usually the ones who were struggling with even the most basic moves. While others eyed him balefully and turned up their noses at his 'obvious harlot ways', those were usually the ugly ones.

The idiots. _Humans. _

Only one girl so far, besides Dolores and Blawynn, has not either worshiped him or shunned him. Her name was Fiona, he had found out, the same girl that he had seen on his boat ride to Colhen. Silent and watchful, she usually ignored him all together really. But he didn't mind, she did it to everyone. He could sit with her on the benches by the fountain and read all he wanted, and she never cared. He would comment on little passages from the book in mocking tones, sometimes in wonder. Asking rhetorical questions knowing she wouldn't answer. He liked to think she was grateful of his company, for she seemed lonely also. He told her this once, an off-hand comment.

She had merely snorted and gone back to reading her Intermediate Shields book.

When a cadet reaches Advanced Classes, they could choose their future primary weapons. Whether from sword and shield (The most popular), the bulky hammers, a strange magic (which Lann privately thought didn't count as a weapon at all, but then again what does he know?), and numerous others. Mostly everyone had chosen a class of weapons they wanted to specialize in by their age. The excitement of advancing making them forget their current level. Mostly everyone but Lann.

To be truthful, nothing interested him. Nothing ever felt... right. Even now, as he slid through his poses and strikes gracefully and skillfully, he felt lopsided and foolish. Amateur and silly. He spoke to Dolores about this, and she had laughed lightly at him.

"Oh Lann, you blew your way through all the Beginner things, now it's just getting tougher. I'm sure once you practice more it will be fine." And then had went out on a two day training mission, confident she had resolved the problem. Careless that of the double entredre that matched so well with the many rumors circulating around him.

Not that he minded.

He sighed, and rolled his shoulders. He was done for today, went through his thrusts and stances, defense poses and sneak attacks. Even so, it didn't feel like he accomplished anything worthwhile, the familiar chant of _notright-notright-notright_ coursing through his head. He groaned. He didn't understand, he had tried so many different combination of weapons; long swords, short swords, axes, shields, hammers, daggers. Heck, he even tried _meditating _with Jarlath for Goddess's sake-

A sharp pain went through his mind, and he let out a grunt of pain as he fell to his knees. /_How dare you use thy name in vain, boy!/ _A voice reprimanded, stern and feminine in quality. Another flash of pain, and he curled into himself, hands cradling his skull. He mentally pleaded for it to stop.

Eventually it did, and he lay there panting and sweating from the mental assault. To anyone else, it must have seemed as if he just had a tiring training session. He continued to lie there for a while, too exhausted to think about just happened. Then he remembered something else. _The voice!_

Shooting up from his position, cringing when he felt a headache coming on, his brows furrowed in thought. He knew he hadn't imagined it. That soft, musical blessed voice. He shook his head and stood up. Walking out of the training courtyard he was in, he headed toward the Cathedral. He had a inkling of what it was, but figured Gilliam would know what to do better than he ever would.

Then again, if it _actually was _what he thought it was, then he didn't think anybody could do anything about it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vindictus or any of its characters or places.**

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><p>The clouds were forming above the town, and as always it made him almost made him grin. He loved the rain so much, it felt like a blessing from the Goddess herself. The half-dead plants long forgotten would flourish with the natural care. Little boys would splash and giggle in the puddles on the walkways, making mud pies and enjoying the rare treat.<p>

He sighed, and berated himself. He knew not to get too hopeful.

It never rained in Rocheste.

He passed by the fountain, where there were gentle tunes flowing in the air. He saw Fiona once again sitting on the same bench, with yet another book. Squinting, he saw the title: _'Pros' and Cons' of Hammers'_. He chucked, she really was taking the decision seriously. _Better than you, what have you done to prepare?_ The small voice of bitterness retorted in his mind. Shaking his head, he started toward Fiona, nodding his head to the Piper on the way.

"Hey Fiona," he said, a smile he thought was -hopefully- light and carefree set on his face. He sat down next to her, leaning forward with his forearms on his knees, head down and thinking. He wasn't really expecting an answer to his question, he said the same thing everyday, and was surprised when he heard a hesitant "Hello."

Looking up, he started in shock for a moment, before quickly recovering and sending her a bright smile. "What is going on? You're all...well, you said hi to me," he leaned his head in his palm, "starting to finally warm up to the old Lann charm?"

She looked at him, not amused. "Don't push your luck. What was with the fake smile earlier?" His smile faltered, and became tense.

That was something else about Fiona, she didn't really make small talk. She was also the only one he didn't feel any disgust or discomfort around. Even with Dolores and Blawynn, he felt a tingle of unease. A feeling of not belonging. He could never tell them what he tells Fiona, he couldn't sit beside them for hours on end and speak his mind with the utmost truth. With Fiona, he was comfortable. She was on the same level as him, he liked to think. Unselfish. _/Worthy./ __a voice whispered. _

He couldn't help but agree.

Even so, he hesitated before mentioning his problem. He was sure it wasn't natural, and they hadn't really gone into the telling secrets stage, yet. On the other hand, he knew she was a rational girl. She wouldn't judge him before hearing the whole tale, and even then she would help him. If not for the friendship, for the opportunity to learn something she hadn't already soaked up through her books.

He decided to try, since she was still expecting an answer. "Well, you see," he started. "I was just really hungry, and I have stomach pains because of it." What? That wasn't what he wanted to say. He tried opening his mouth to contradict that, yet it wouldn't open. If fact, he couldn't move any of his body. He panicked, and even panicking didn't seem like the right word for what he could do. Panicking involved sweating and twitching, some nervous habit you could outwardly show. He was stuck inside his mind, and felt detached as he felt his voice let out laugh awkwardly, as if embarrassed.

Fiona quirked an eyebrow, then seemlingly attributed to the weirdness that was "Lann" and went back to reading.

Still feeling like a puppet from Mr. Irvan's Toy Shop, he felt his body move to stand up. "I'm gonna go raid the Dormitory kitchens." His lips lifted, a strange feeling to not be in control over. "See ya Fiona!" And then his body ran off, down the alleyways. Twisting and turning through them until they were deep in the town's residential area, then whatever force that had taken over finally released its hold. He fell to his knees, out of breath.

He leaned forward and held out his hands on the ground in front of him, still breathing heavily. "Dear Go-"

_/Don't you finish that sentence, young man!/ _

Pain.

"Shyte!"

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><p>He had tried talking to her again, the woman that was seemingly in his head. After several minutes of no answers with what he thought was mind talking, he belatedly realized he was also speaking too. He had quite an audience of stray cats curiously peaking out from the shadows. He had ducked out after that, thankful he remembered the pathway out.<p>

On his way back to the Dormitory, he had almost walked past his initial destination. Taking a quick look around, he had dashed up the stairs to the Cathedral before anybody could see him. He never visited the Cathedral, and going there now would seem strange. He had a reputation to hold up after all. Looking around inside, he called out for Gilliam a few times. He didn't dare go far into the halls, remembering what the priest had said when he first ventured here.

_"I advise against wandering these halls. Surely you've heard about cats and curiosity...__It's no less dangerous for people like you."_ Shuddering at the implications, Lann listened for an answer.

When none came but his echoes, he decided he gone. Which was strange, weren't priests supposed to be bound to the buildings?

Mentally shrugging, he was about to leave when he felt a feeling again. The feeling he had been having for a while now. He slowly turned around and locked gazes with the statue.

It truly was beautiful, he thought. It was carved with such detail, he could almost imagine the true form of the Goddess Morrighan was in front of him. It was intimidating, and knowing he was alone in the Cathedral made it worse. But he was sick of mental attacks, of the these 'tingle' feelings, and the puppet act back in the courtyard was out of line. So he spoke, to end this once and for all.

The clouds were thickening now, blocking out whatever little sun there was. It oddly felt right for his situation.

"Who _are_ you?"

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><p><strong>AN: Still looking for OC's. Tell me what you think. **


	6. Chapter 6

****Disclaimer: I do not own Vindictus or any of its characters or places.****

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><p>Lann stood there for what seemed like many forever, gazing at the statue, waiting for an answer. He let his eyes look into her solemn expression, demanding an explanation he wasn't sure it would give.<p>

After a while, he realized he wasn't so much as glaring at the statue, as he was _admiring_ it. Though could he really blame himself? The stone was a smooth white, there wasn't a blemish anywhere he could see. Gilliam must spend a decent amount of time cleaning just the _wings_-

Well, shoot.

Embarrassed, he shifted his weight. He glanced at the dark corridors of either side of him, as if expecting Gilliam to come berate him for 'idling in a sacred place', before he remembered he was alone. A shift of light had him looking up at the clouds. They seemed to have decided not to grant Rocheste with there presence anymore, and were now slowly moving east. Streams of golden sunlight appeared across the sky, widening and moving as the clouds did.

The foreboding atmosphere moved as well. And when it left, a new one took place. Lann continued standing there, in awe. _This is...nice_, he thought. And it was. The cathedral became a new place.

He smiled at the changes.

Lann felt almost welcomed. The corridors darkness reached out to him, and the colored lights shining through the windows warmed his skin. A feeling of contentment ran though him, and he shivered in delight. Before he could talk himself out of it, he sat down cross-legged on the stone floor. Waiting and seeing no sign of Gilliam still, he hesitantly laid back, until he was staring straight up at the stained glass ceiling.

He laid there for a few minutes, and then brought his arms up behind his head, and closed his eyes. There he took a deep breath, and let go. Limp and relaxed, he let the warmth wash over him, and felt the soothing buzz across his skin. Soon enough, he fell asleep.

The chime of the towns bell startled him awake. Confused and slightly dazed, he thought, _Mm.__..only three o'clock. _He readjusted himself on the floor, then closed his eyes.

And immediately snapped them back open.

He stared up, beyond the glass, at the _clear night sky. _

A quick count of the hours, and his face filled with dread. He had been there for over four hours...it was six o'clock at night. He sat up and leaned back on his hands. Looking around, he felt disheartened. The warm and beautiful cathedral was gone. It was now cold, and empty. A steady wind now flew through the corridors, shivering, he rubbed his bare arms.

He once again felt awkward and uncomfortable here, and decided to leave.

Besides, Dolores would worry if he didn't head back. And Blawynn would eat his share of supper for sure. Not to mention the younger cadets would rummage through his stuff, taking whatever they please. And he didn't feel like going on a hunting them down to find them tomorrow.

Lann picked himself off the stone floor and brushed off his trousers. He stretched, and then sighed. Turning to the entrance, he started down the steps.

He vowed to figure out what was going on with him, but just then, he was hungry. And it was really hard to concentrate on anything else but warm gravy at that moment.

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><p>Fiona knew from the moment that blond boy had stepped onto the boat, dirty and looking half dead, she knew he would be annoying.<p>

She was right.

Before she even knew him, he already made her emotionless mask falter. And he took no responsibility. Giving her that carefree, bright smile, then promptly falling asleep. She bet he didn't even realize the effect it had on her. That she had never blushed so deeply in her life, or that she had never shown that much emotion in who knows how long.

He was irresponsible. He wasn't taking care of himself, that much she knew. And when he wouldn't wake up, she had watched the old man escort him to the Inn. She had forgotten the feeling of having an internal debate within yourself, the feeling of need and the knowledge of want battling for control. _She needed to see if the boy would be alright._

No, _she wanted it. _

_There were other duties she must attend to. _

_...B__ut I'm worried for him._

In the end, logic had won, and she followed the older men to the meet-up point. Glancing back every few feet, a foreign feeling of regret overcoming her.

He was...amusing. She had more times than she could name on her ten fingers and toes when she desperately wanted to laugh at his antics. At his lack of control over the simplest things. At his emotions, splaying across his face so fast she wonders how somebody could feel all of them in just that short amount of time.

In the beginning, he would have a look of being crestfallen, saddened that she didn't laugh. Didn't react. Then one day he started to read through her, and his lips would quirk after a joke. She knew then that she let her laughter had shown through eyes, and would quickly rebuild her mask.

His smile and knowing look would stay for the rest of the day.

He was all those things and twenty five more, and she could still never describe him correctly. He was unique. He was simple. Complex and obtrusive but oh so caring and he was...

a friend.

Fiona stopped writing, quill going still. She contemplated those last two words, debated scratching them out. Her hand had written them of seemingly its own accord. It was a word she had never applied to herself, a foreign thing she had only witnessed of others and in books. Yet they seemed...

/_right/_ a voice whispered. Soft, unobtrusive. She paused, and thought about it.

She then gently set her quill down and closed her journal.

Fiona looked out the window then, watched the clouds in the distance, as she thought about that, and the emotions she was feeling.

"A...friend."

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><p>AN: I'm not too sure about this chapter, tell me what you think.


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